Hello Readers. But really I mean reader which means you, H, since I believe all others who have stumbled over this blog have quit reading due to boredom. Thank you for being blood-related to me too much to give up. And if you aren’t reading this, well then I’m just talking to myself, so by the way remember that you just left a very important document on the scanner that needs to be dealt with shortly.

The only interesting gardening think I’ve done lately is water plants. They are doing much better due to the fertilizer mentioned in the previous post. In thinking about the whole situation, I’ve decided to rewrite the last post. I know you were bored the first time round…

Still here? I have no idea why, but here’s the re-written post for you:

So the few potted plants out on the balcony were not doing hot dying. With a degree in horticulture I probably should actually care about gardening and have a lush little book-worthy mini-garden out there. In reality in takes about of month of zero growth from my plants and bright yellow leaves before I realize those plants need fertilizer.

Even then I probably wouldn’t do something except I needed stuff at Target and Home Depot happened to be next store. So I ran over there (literally because it was raining) and went to go buy a fertilizer.

Drawing on a hazy memory of scientific posters from school, I knew I needed a fertilizer with something like a 5-1-2 ratio. If you have no idea what that means you can simply buy the first thing that is labeled for what you are growing and leave within a sane amount of time. There’s not much fun in that though. I looked at the gobs of miracle grow and thought of how it is the devil of gardening. Maybe they have something angelically organic instead.

Then I realized that shopping at a hardware store for a chemical fertilizer also probably falls into the devil category and stopped looking for organic stuff. (Not a big fan of “organic” anyway, but let’s save that for another post.) I’m back looking for a 5-1-2 ratio.

Miracle grow turned out to be an epic failure at providing me the desired ratio. You would think some company would take advantage at what experts are recommending, but after staring for five minutes I have found zilch. I’m still looking for that stupid ratio….and found it! (or close enough):

Hmmm…it’s labeled for trees and shrubs. I really have no idea why you need different kinds of fertilizer for different kinds of plants. Varying amounts, sure, but nitrogen is nitrogen. (Well actually, it can come in various chemical forms…but the labeling is still very off).

This stuff should work fine. Got to be better than a 10-10-10 miracle grow, since phosphorus is frequently over applied in the home garden and hence destroying waterways and possibly the whole ecosystem. It’s slow release granular which appeals to the lazy side of me—I can put it on once and be done. It also happens to be cheap! I have a hard time arguing with price tags.

My containerized pots got a good helping of evergreen shrub fertilizer. The fertilizer shelf at home depot got a D- grade from me.